Solutions over Complaints
A while ago I said to a dear friend that everyone complains. But that those same people should not only be educated, but also empowered to also find solutions to their complaints. The trick is that if someone gives a solution, that they also feel you've listened and taken into consideration what they've proposed. And even though you've heard them, they know their solution may not be used. Most people will understand and appreciate your attention to something important to them, regardless if you heed their wisdom.
Its tricky tricky tricky
Listening to people's complaints through a filter can hopefully include a useful solution, and can also be eye opening and mind widening. You get to see how passionate someone is about a subject, plus see through their eyes the logic they've used. It's always very important to listen, else you become another complaint of that person. Balancing is a skill learned. Complaints are as common as toes on a millipede. Great bosses are rare.
Sometimes solutions aren't acceptable and sometimes you just have to grow up and deal with it.
What about coming from the other side of the table. Most people are very passionate about their professions. They get excited about something that they hold very dear. Its almost a double edged sword of sorts, to be passionate and care but still be able to explain your issue's in a rational and clear communication. Else you sound like a whiner and be labeled as such.
As you can see, each side are delicate. Don't listen or show their opinion matters, you've got an unproductive and unmotivated person. Listen and empower that person, you've got a member that will move mountains. On the other side, come off as just someone that wants to complain then you're merely another child at day care not getting their way. So you can see how important these "negotiations" can be for both teams. Almost anyone thats ever been in a leadership role can tell you that its not as easy as it sounds. And everyone's been in a work environment that has a person that complains constantly.
Stepping up and stepping forward
As friends and co-workers, we need to be that child. Whether it's with our bosses or family or friends. We all have problems, but we should empower ourselves to find the solutions. Solve our own problems. You're hungry, go eat. You're tired, go to bed. Your cube mate smells, get some air freshener or ask the boss to move. Just don't stomp your feet until someone fixes your problems for you. Be imaginative. Be professional. Be realistic.
And remember, just because something bothers you doesn't mean you're right and it's wrong. Sometimes solutions aren't acceptable and sometimes you just have to grow up and deal with it. Remember, life isn't just about one thing at a time. No coffee at work? Don't whine, go get coffee. It's not your job? Fine, remember how you look to everyone else if you say that. Tell that to your boss and then tell them the office is out of coffee. Know what they'll say? "It's not my job".
Motivation is the key
I have been guilty of this myself, recently. I'm passionate about what I've put efforts in. Like most of you, you strive to be the best you can be. You need to
grasp the ring and think before you act. Write it down, talk it out, work it out. If you want changes, you must affect yourself first. Then create a presentation to your opposition that this is a good thing for them. Explain to them how things would be worse if they don't take these steps.
FACT: United Kingdom MP Margaret Thatcher used a method of providing 3 negatives BEFORE giving a positive. And it worked so great with her country that she won elections easily. As an example, she would say "Do we want to lay down and be invaded? Do we want to just give up our small island nation? Do we want to be controlled and owned by some foreign entity? No! We will dictate our own destiny. We will fight. We will win" Not only did this inspire her nation, it motivated them.
You can see how giving negatives first makes a human to feel down, and providing them the uplift after is widely popular. Disagree? Go watch the movie Rocky again. Negative, negative, negative. Perseverance. Success. And a HUGE following.
So here's your agenda when you have an issue or problem. This works with family, friends, work.
- Identify your issue. Do not react upon your emotions.
- Patience. Wait a day or so before acting or talking to anyone.
- Once you're calm and see the issue with new eyes, find out how this can be beneficial to the other party.
- Make a plan on how to present the problem AND the solution.
- Pause for effect.
- Use 3 negatives followed by the positives.
- Make a win-win argument.
Using simple logic can achieve results. Using patience can alleviate passion and emotions. Finding a solution that benefits everyone is extremely important.
More recently a dear friend reminded me that I once told him to ask for solutions. How quickly things are forgotten.